11/30/2024
Vash "The Epitome of Positivity" Stampede
"You're your own worst critic."
Here lies a true, awful paradox of the human condition. Even if you're the most beloved person around, spreading nothing but love and peace to everyone you know, there always comes a time where you're stranded by yourself. Alone on your bed at night, for whatever accursed reason, you look at yourself and find yourself ugly.
Almost no other person would say the things to us that we say to ourselves! We fling criticisms at ourselves like we're in the running for the list of the top 10 worst people of all time, despite hardly any of us being even potential qualifiers for such a list.
One of my favorite stories that explores this dance between positivity and self-esteem is the Trigun series.
I remember the first exposure I had to the 1995 Trigun anime. I had seen it recommended in various places for years, but not until my brother sat me down to savor my reactions to the different twists and turns of the show did I have any interest in it. I always assumed it was some generic action anime, based on the promotional materials I'd seen for it. Hoooooly moley did I regret not watching it sooner.
If you want to avoid any spoilers and watch the series blind as I'd suggest, turn back now! If you've already watched it or don't care about spoilers, feel free to continue reading after the cat.
When it came to watching Trigun '95, I knew I was in for something special when, by the third episode, I still could not tell if Vash was actually Vash. The series begins on a comedic note as Vash stumbles through a comedy of errors and the characters continually assume that the unassumingly-unassuming figure of Vash is not the threat that others say he is. Genuinely one of the funniest things in anime I've seen, hands down.
Enough reminiscing though - one thing that continues to interest me is the dynamic of Vash's positivity. From the beginning of the show, Vash is shown to be a laid-back individual, literally shouting at times how he thinks the world is "made of love and peace." If you didn't know any better, you might start to think he's some kind of hippie-type character.
As much as we love this side of Vash, the story reveals that there's more to Vash than his infectious smile and positivity.
In every version of the Trigun story (there's three total now, as of writing), Vash carries a horrible weight or two. Has a murderous brother. May or may not have accidentally annihilated an entire town. Mother/mother-figure sacrificed herself saving him and his irate brother. Carries the burden of being the only one to stop said genocidal brother and his band of evil-doers. If it could be said of any character, Vash deserves this: he is traumatized. And yet, he is undoubtedly the most positive person on his planet.
Or is he?
At different moments in the 1995 Trigun anime and in the manga especially, we catch glimpses of Vash's negative streak - his inability to accept himself. He questions himself constantly and then whenever he gets to his lowest point in the anime of taking another person's life against his vow not to do so, he labels himself as a "sinner." Not a person who's made a bad move in a tough spot - an irredeemable sinner.
(There's the scene from the Trigun Maximum manga where one of the Gung-Ho Guns or Knives says something along the lines about Vash: "Now I see what kind of man you are! You are the type who sees no place for himself in this world!" - referring to Vash's outlook on himself. But since I can't properly quote this, I'm putting this in parentheses - if you know where this comes from, please let me know, I'll be trying to find it again in the meantime lol)
I think most of us have met people like this. I'll never forget the first person I met in middle school/high school who fit this archetype. She was one of the most fun-loving, positive people you'd know and would love to spend as much time as possible around. And then you learn about her past - troubles with parents, self-esteem, and so on...
Between a fictional series and the real-life phenomenon, you'd almost wonder about the "point" of positivity. It seems it only comes easily to those who have suffered most, and then whenever any of us try to keep a veneer of positivity, there inevitably comes a time where it is repaid with indifference or vitriol.
In the end of Trigun Maximum, one of my favorite ways that Vash's impact is shown is somebody remembering his smile. His actions or loving catchphrases do not immediately come to mind, but rather only his smile is recalled. Thankfully, Vash's positivity ultimately does have an impact, either inspiring people to be better to themselves and one another, or, in Trigun Maximum, inspires people to be kind to an entirely different species of beings, once enslaved by humanity.
On the other hand, the 1995 anime does not always make Vash's impact on the wider world clear. This is probably more realistic, unfortunately. I have been reading about positivity and making more efforts to do so, observing results and reactions as I try to make such things as complements and smiles habits of mine. Between Vash, myself and likely you, the reader, as well, you know well that kindness is not always reciprocated. Vash certainly knows this in the anime and chooses, largely, to carry on with his happy caricature.
Vash carries the physical reminder of humanity's hatred on his body through his scars and prosthetics - why does he continue it? Why does Vash continue this way, especially when the charity does not extend inwards towards himself and his self-image? Why, when his love is often not repaid?
Well, even if his pacifist ideals are challenged or his brother Knives presses his patience to the limits, it's clear that Vash just sees it as the right thing to do. Both anime and manga show that Vash even comes to this conclusion apart from his role model's - Rem's - ideals. "Do unto others as you would have them do to you."
We and Vash must come to this conclusion, that this piece of morality, of the fundamental "laws of physics" of human relations, of manners, is not optional. If we want a world that's made out of love and peace, this is a practice we cannot ignore under any circumstances. "Do unto others as you would have them do to you." Whether you heard it from a philosopher, or Jesus, or your grandma - if you have ever complained about the actions of others, you must examine yourself under this same lens as well. "What would I have done in their situation? How would I feel if I were them? What is the other person going through?"
And of course, with any story involving aliens/non-human protagonists, we come to another awful truth - that Vash was more "human" by following this law of sympathy than any other human in the series. If you want a world of love and peace, even if you have nights where you question if your kindess is worth it... promise to yourself that you'll smile to the next person you meet.
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